I was thinking this morning about how grown up I've always been, mature and wise (that's not boasting, that's what I'm told!), but today, I felt like an adult. I paid a bill, made breakfast, took a check down to pay rent...and I realized, "wow, I'm really an adult now." I've felt like one before, but it just kind of hit me this morning, I'm sure I'll look back on this day and go "yeah, right, please, I was no adult."

In all reality, I'll always consider myself a kid at heart--and you know, what is an adult anyway? I guess this is a two part question come to think of it....what is an adult (simple short answers on that please) and then my real question for you is....

When did you first feel like an adult or a grown up? When was it in your life that made you feel grown up or more mature? Was it a year? An event? A sequence of the two? A single person or place or thing? Did you feel more grown up after moving out, graduation, marriage, children of your own, or way before any of those things happened?

I'm just interested and curious to see what you all have to say!!!

Thanks for your input!

Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz

Hi Sarah ~

I thought I was first "grown up" when I went to college, then it was moving into my own apartment, then it was getting married........that ended in divorce. It was not until I had my daughter at the age of 27 - almost 28 and when we bought our house. When I became known as "oh, so you're ....'s mom. I realized I was an adult when I had my daughter - the little innocent angel I help bring into the world to take care of, nurture, and provide for.......and then buying our house. So it wasn't until I was 29 or so. Now with a stepson of 23 years old, a 19 year old stepson - I DEFINITELY feel grown up!!!!

That's just my two cents......

Many Blessings Sarah ~ and you are an adult. Being an adult is a frame of mind also - I know people who are of various ages who refuse to grow up who are in their 60's who don't have a full time job, who drink all the time, etc. You are an adult just from our talks and your thoughts of the future, present, and so forth. Some people never grow up.......

Thanks Angelina! I know I'm pretty much an adult, it's just that certain things lately have spurred me to realize that! LOL! I've always been mature and grown up, but that's not the only part of being an adult. I think it has to do with responsibility and independence as well, and I'm gaining more of that, I think and I hope! Anyway, thank you for your kind words! It's a blessing talking to you and calling you my friend! Anyone else who would like to answer is more than welcome, I'm still curious to hear what made you all feel like adults for the first time!

Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz

This is a very good topic...ummm...I think Debbie, Tammy and a few others might agree with me...I don't think I have ever grown up!!!!! I still feel like a KID!!!!!!.....But in an honest answer...2 times I Felt truely like a grown up...Jr. year in High School after I lost my Mother and I had to grow up fast and do things on my own. And when I entered Basic Training...LOL....and went to WAR few years later.

Mel. SR

Hmmmm, This is a good question Sarah! For lots of us, we think we are adults because we are doing "adult things", like living on our own, etc. But I guess each of us mature differently. And it takes time to grow and actually "be" an adult.

Like you, I have always felt the responsibility of being older, even before I was a teen-ager. I had the responsibilities of taking care of my brothers, and cleaning and cooking when I was only 11 years old. So it sorta makes you have to grow up. But truthfully, even though I was married at 18, I don't think I felt truly like an adult until I had my first child. I was 21 then, and we had just bought our very first house. I worked full time until just before Mike was born. From that time on, I worked a lot of different jobs to help with the bills, took care of the kids and house, as well as taking care of the finances and paying the bills.

It really is funny though, because when I was in my late 30's, I actually took some time to take care of myself. I went into therapy, and also went back to college. I changed my entire life - leaving my first husband when I was 40. But it took looking back at my life, and realizing that my childhood had been full of a lot of pain and hurt - and letting God's healing into my life - to actually feel myself become a healthier adult. Sometimes we grow up way too fast - and the adult we become - is wounded and we have the coping skills of that wounded child.

Now, at 51, I feel much healthier and stronger. I guess I also feel like it is easier to play, laugh - and "be" the person that I was created to be. I feel like it is alright to let myself be a child at times - playing and laughing - so that I can be a healthier adult. I don't know if that makes any sense to you, but I hope it does.

I know that my answer wasn't quite what you asked for. Sorry about that Sarah. I guess I was just thinking back to my own life, and realizing that there were so many different moments and stages of growth and learning. I guess I hope I always have the courage and strength to keep on changing, keep on learning about myself - and life.

I think I became an adult when I graduated from high school in 1989. Or rather, survived it--because it was hell for me. I was not one of those who would buckle to peer pressure; and as a result, I was ostracized and bullied because I didn't "conform." So when I graduated, and went on with my life, going to Pasadena City College and getting my job in the Pasadena Public Library system, I felt a great sense of relief.

Do I still feel, in many ways, like a kid? I think I do. I think it's not only natural to maintain certain characteristics of what it was like to be young, it's an absolute necessity. Part of growing up is constantly learning new things. And you don't stop doing that as an adult. It is a constant throughout life to learn, and to keep learning.

I also believe, particularly since 9/11, that while it may feel good to hate one's enemies in the short term, it can be extremely corrosive and destructive to keep carrying that anger and hatred. We sometimes don't realize this fact until it's too late. And on this point, I recall the words of Richard Nixon, after he had to resign the Presidency in 1974 in disgrace: "Always remember--others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then, you destroy yourself."

Wow great answer you guys! Debbie, your answer is perfectly fine and great, it was a personal question and I agree with most of what you said! Melanie Sr, yes, I think going off to war would make one an adult, and of course, having kids of your own--for anyone! Erik, I empathize with you on the HS thing, I hated it--glad to be out! I loved your answer, thanks for the quote--very, very true and worth remembering!

Thanks for your input, y'all, please keep the answers comin'!

Many Blessings,
-Sarah Liz

Debbie ~ I can relate to what you said about reflecting on your childhood when you got older and realize the responsibilities of taking care of cooking, cleaning, etc. for younger siblings. At the time, it was expected of me, so I never really gave it much thought.

Erik ~ I can relate so much to what you said. I was always the VERY QUIET person. I went to an all girls Catholic school my first year of high school and then to a public school for the last 3 years. Well, I have my Senior year book where my English teacher encouraged me to get loud on Senior night (and then she wrote she couldn't believe she was actually encouraging someone to get loud), My chorus teacher wrote "I finally learned to speak"...... I would sing but never just talked to anyone. I even had a classmate - my senior year mind you - that we were sitting in English 4......and she made the comment to the girl sitting beside her that she had never seen me mad...... well from then until the end of the year (three weeks) she did everything she could to get me mad.......... yes, she won and yes she apologized.....lol I was in high school chorus for 3 years, a teacher's aide, on the yearbook staff, a library aide..... so i didn't do the norm for what every one else was doing.

I am an adult now......since i'll be 42 this year, but I have learned how to live. I enjoy life, I live and act like my daughter's age when we are out and about but we have so much fun. We took a mini vacation this weekend and she just laughed and giggled about the whole time..... must be the age or a stage that the girls that age go thru... but it's good to not take life so seriously and be an adult all the time. So yes, I became an adult when I had my daughter, but as she got older, the more of an adult I became........if that makes sense.

Another indication I knew I was becoming an adult (and in retrospect it happened when I was still in my teens) was that my tastes in music were...I don't know if you could call them radically different from what my peers' were, but perhaps you could. In the mid-80s, nearly everyone I knew was into MTV or arena rock, while I tended to listen in large part to the music made between 1964 and 1982--that aspect hasn't changed a bit. And I wasn't into going to movies were Schwarzenneger and Stallone were shooting every bad guy in sight like some high-tech John Wayne clones; I had gotten into more thought-provoking dramas. I also kind of lost my yen for the STAR WARS films when I got into my actual adulthood.

So I'd consider those things not really so much reasons for me being an outcast from my peers as they were a much more rapid changeover into being an adult, and solidifying my ability to think critically.

Let me say this first...I hate being a grown-up!! There's too much responsibility! However, I've been 40 since I was 4. I've always been a lot more mature than my actually age. I'm a bit of an old soul. Although, I like to keep a few friends that allow me to be my actual age (27 on the 15th) from time to time.

KAY my daughter answered this perfectly for me.....I AM AN ADULT, but I AM A KID, That is why everyone LOVES ME.......I know when to be an ADULT ( which is always), but I know the key moments to let that KID in me OUT!!! Which I do all the time.......especially when things are getting tense, make everyone laugh.......

Debbie ALWAYS has the right answer!!!.......which reminds me....got to e-mail you about one Dan has...LOL...You will love it, and have the exact answer he's looking for!!!!

Melanie

I have been thinking about this question for a little while now and trying to figure out when i feel like an adult. I've always been told that i'm more "mature" than most people my age, but i dont feel it. Sure there have been numerous occasions when i've felt more like an adult than anything, like last year when my mom had her surgery and i helped my dad out with the house and tending to my mom. That was hard work both physically and emotionally but it made me stronger. And you know of course Going away to school. Doing the whole move and living in a strange city and living on my own. That right there was the true test, and i passed.

Great topic Sarah!!